iridescentcryptid:

Friend: Hey have heard of enjoying things in moderation

Me, my fingers deeply embedded in the only thing I’ve done or talked about for the last week: I have no idea what you mean

veedraws:
““Jinguji Jakurai :^)
”
He had me at “affordable healthcare” ”

veedraws:

Jinguji Jakurai :^)

He had me at “affordable healthcare”

buckydameron:

Andy Samberg Shares His Rejected Golden Globes Jokes.

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

tayghete:

chiibbo:

jkl-fff:

maramahan:

808lien:

colacharm:

wildlyannoyingdoofus:

colacharm:

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

  1. never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
  2. find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
  3. talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
  4. picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
  5. if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

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This is so important


pamelaisley:

beccatmeow:

failbag:

beholdtheb-hol:

please unmute this

I’ve never seen high school musical and now I never need to

Basketball basketball we love basketball

Ofmmfmgmgmgh

hyphypmic:
“1st edit! Hope you like it! Reblog or like if you save it!
”

hyphypmic:

1st edit! Hope you like it! Reblog or like if you save it!

aimumaru:

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先生お誕生日おめでとうございます🎈🍰✨

alexxdz:

alexxdz:

Full offense, but if you pre-ordered Fallout 76 right now, on the day of 5th of June of 2018 or any day before that, without even knowing what kind of game it is, based only on the brand and a CGI trailer that only shows like a desk on a dark room, you’re the prime example of one of the biggest problems in the gaming industry right now and I hope the game is a massive disappointment to you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

teenagerposts:

When you insist on treating your friend

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rare-drop:

Me, crouched in front of the used games section for two hours:-

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